Let me Die a Consultants Death

December 27th, 2009

I rewrote Roger McGough’s “Let me Die a Youngman’s Death” to reflect the current pressures the may shorten the average consultants lifespan.

Inspired by the great Roger McGough

Let me die a consultants death
Not a clean and in-between the sheets
A civil servants death,
Not an “on the ‘dole”
Peaceful unemployment death.

When I’m 33
And just made manager
May I be blown up at dawn
When a terrorist hijacks
The first flight of the day.

Or when I’m 41
And in my lair-
Just got my own office and swivel chair
May some rival consultants
With clever USB keys burst in
Kill me and steal my laptop.

Or when I’m 54
And banned from nightclubs
May my fourth husband
Catching me in bed checking my email
And fearing for his sex life
Kill me with my own PDA
and sell his story to the tabloids.

Let me die a consultants death
Not a secretary’s tiptoe in
Or city bankers overspending death
Not a housewife with her ironing done,
“Well she liked to stay at home” death.

One response

  1. Johnny Ko comments:

    Well observed and witty rewrite. I can see my life doing this.
    It sucks you in and eats your soul.

    Good call with the civil service line though – those fu*k*rs don’t know they have it landed.
    Keep up the good work. I’ll be coming back.

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